You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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