She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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