We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
