I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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