I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
