Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Randomize
