i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
