my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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