not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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