I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Send help, water and tortillas.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
