His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
