Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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