I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
