we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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