Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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