He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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