so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.Â
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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