I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I won't apologize to a one balled man
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
