imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
