Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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