It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
where are my pants?
in the oven.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize