It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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