Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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