Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
