We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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