Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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