did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
our cab driver is having phone sex.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
