Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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