If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
