Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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