Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
