Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
