It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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