I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
