It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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