guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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