I love black thongs
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
