Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
