Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
