Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
