I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
