his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
