There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
