i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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