i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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