I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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