time to smoke my breakfast
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Two words: nipple clamps
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