I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
