you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
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does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
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As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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