I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize