Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
