i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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