he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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