i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
