I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
