whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
