If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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