Fuck appropriateness.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
