That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
