She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
