There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
