Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
